Improve your Relationship Without Talking About It!

As a Clinical Psychologist who works with both individuals and couples, I can tell you that YOU can actually improve your relationship without talking about it! Don't get me wrong, communication is super important and I highly encourage talking with your significant other a lot, but you can also do a few subtle (but really important!) things to make your relationship better, without ever discussing it with your partner.

While there are several actions you can take to improve your relationship, the one I want to highlight here is actually something comedienne Tiny Fey talks about in her book Bossypants. While reading this book for fun, not expecting it to enlighten my practice of psychology, something struck me. In the book she talks about, "The Rules of Improv." (In case your not familiar with Tina Fey, she started out doing improvisational theater in Chicago, then moved on to Saturday Night Live).

Back to the issue at hand... the FIRST RULE...

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Happiness and Your Social Network

happiness Jun 10, 2018

Happiness and self-concept are fairly well ingrained by adulthood, but can definitely still be influenced by those around you. On the one hand, we’re taught not to take things personally, on the other hand, how we’re treated inevitably has some effect on how we feel. For this reason, it’s important to surround yourself with positive people who bring you up.  People who have good self-esteem and feel happy themselves.  These are the people who are more likely to be positive, encouraging, supportive, and generally fun to be around. It’s important to be encouraging and supportive of others too.  And your self-esteem and happiness will improve when you help others.

Think about your social network.  Are the people you spend the most time with positive or negative?  Do you feel excited, motivated and happy around certain people in your life?  If so, that’s great.  Spend more time with those people!  Foster those...

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Meditation and Anxiety Reduction

A key component to emotional health is reducing feelings of stress and anxiety.  Did you know meditation helps with anxiety reduction? One common trait of anxiety is racing thoughts. People with anxiety often report feeling like their thoughts are spinning out of control, they feel like they can’t turn off their mind, and they can’t stop thinking. Often racing thoughts lead to problems with concentration (you’re too distracted to stay focused), problems sleeping (your thoughts are literally keeping you up at night), and depression (your thoughts might be negative which contributes to low mood).

The purpose of meditation is to keep your mind focused on the present. This has a natural consequence of reducing stress and anxiety as it allows the mind a break from the racing thoughts, worries, and panicky feelings that often come with anxiety (e.g. rapid heartbeat, sweating, shaking, fidgeting, etc.). Just like your body needs rest to recharge and be energized, so...

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Self-Acceptance and Happiness

happiness self-esteem Apr 01, 2018

Self-acceptance is a true feeling of happiness about who you are.  It doesn't mean you think you’re perfect, it means you accept yourself, knowing you have strengths and weakness, just like everyone else.

Self-acceptance means you can get back up when you fall down; you can laugh at yourself; you can see your uniqueness for both the good and the not so good; you recognize your talents and are proud of what you’re good at; you can make mistakes without feeling worthless, hopeless or deeply sad; you see your mistakes as part of life; you know you’re still a good person even if you’re not perfect; and when you look in the mirror you truly like the person that you see!

Having self-acceptance is an important component of happiness, so if you're not there yet, there are steps you can take to get there!

I believe that every person deserves to look in the mirror and like who they see! There are so many effective ways to boost your self-esteem. Here are some...

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